Do I Stay Friends With My Ex?

RICHARD & MARICAR:

Looking back, it was honestly very tricky(emotionally) to remain good friends with an ex. An ex is someone that we had a deep relationship with —the person we talked to the most and who knew us best (at the time). Because of the memories we shared, even if separated, we felt emotionally tied to that person, and it took very little, for us to fall all over again for our ex.

MARICAR:

I think the best way to move on to our next relationship, is maybe to cut all ties. (unless ayaw ko mag move-on. Ibang topic naman ang hoping pa. :p )

Richard and I share the same views on this one, so luckily its not one of the things we fight about. 🙂 Cutting ties meant remaining friendly with our exes, but they are no longer part of our daily lives. (No regular chats, texts, kumustahan, FB/IG stalking, etc.)

RICHARD:

In my opinion,  friendly chats, innocent viewing of posts and pictures strengthens our “emotions for an ex” if we do it regularly. I’d find myself thinking about my ex more often —a dangerous situation if left unchecked. 

But hey, if you want to have open doors and chances na magkabalikan kayo ng ex mo, then it’s best to remain close to your ex diba?

MARICAR:

But if moving on is really what you want, cutting emotional ties with our ex also includes getting rid of old photos/letters/gifts,etc.  

Honestly, I wouldn’t want Richard to have pictures of his exes, either. When Richard and I fight, it would be easier for him to revisit “happier times with an ex” if he had these saved photos/messages of his ex in his phone.

The same goes for memories. I once told Richard that I associate a certain restaurant with an ex because we used to eat there often. So Richard made it a point to eat there with me a few times to  replace it with our own happy moments—-our “TEAM MEMORIES”, while weakening my own memories tied to my ex for that restaurant.

RICHARD AND MARICAR:

So if you want to build more opportunities to get back with your ex, the most logical thing to do is to remain his/her friend, keep close and hope for the best. (If it doesn’t work out– visit Maricar’s blog about liking someone who doesn’t like you back.)

But if preparing for a new—hopefully better—relationship is your decision, cutting ties has always been the wiser choice. Our mentors also advised us the same.

So deep down in your heart, what do you REALLY WANT? That will dictate whether you stay close or far from your ex. 

Take heart!

Posted by relationshipmatters, April 8, 2018