Invisible Abs

May 20, 2018


Before I got married, I found men with six-pack abs attractive. Physically, I preferred tall, lean, athletic guys –who would usually have toned abs. I never thought to analyze WHY.

Looking back, I believe its because an athletic build subconsciously meant that the guy was disciplined. If he could take care of his body, he could take good care of me and our relationship.  Physical strength meant he could protect me, support me when I am weak.

Now that I think about it, it wasn’t JUST the six-pack abs themselves (because they look nice), but what I believed those muscles REPRESENTED.

During the time when Richard kept his distance and wasnt sure of me, some lean, athletic men asked me out. I didn’t see anything wrong with going out with them. Over time I’d see that these guys never took the bold step that I was looking for by that time –honesty, openness & true commitment.

I also had learned my lesson. I wanted to be with someone who REALLY wanted me, no matter what.

Eventually, I married a man without muscular abs. But coming from his 10th anniversary concert, surrounded by tall athletic dancers —no one was more attractive to me, than he.

Maybe because in 5 years of marriage he had shown discipline by weaning me off my love for unhealthy processed food. Because of Richard, we have fresh squeezed juice and home-cooked vegetables and fish as much as possible. He may not be skinny, but he does his best to keep his weight controlled despite our love for food.

He may not be able to lift 200 lbs, but I’ve seen him intelligently defend me to people who make inapproriate comments. His inner strength has centered me when I feel hopeless and praning.

With him I know I will never go hungry because he is always trying to improve his craft/work. Even if no one watches, he can’t stand not having a job well done. For him, there will always be something new to achieve.

Richard may not have the six-pack abs, but he definitely has what they represent. 🙂

I’m really happy for the ladies who are in a good relationship with guys who have perfect abs. You have a real catch there!


But as for me, I wouldn’t trade Richard’s “invisible” abs for all the six-packs in the world.

Know a guy with “invisible abs” too? Share your story with us!


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Posted by relationshipmatters, May 20, 2018


5 thoughts on “Invisible Abs

  1. I’m starting reading your blogs about marriage..I’m in an 8 yr relationship already.I too, married a man with an invisible abs and so far we are still together..Sobra kong nai enjoy ang blog mo about marriage. Mas naiintindihan ko na ngayon kung bakit kami nagkakaron ng argument..Thanks and hopefully makabili ako ng book nyo..Stay happy and inlove ke Mr. Richard..?

  2. Your blog inspires me so much Ms Maricar. I would say that I definitely agree with you. I used to be very much particular with looks when it comes to my preference for a man, along with certain qualities which I consider as my set of criteria for an ideal man. But after a long term relationship and failed “big time”. I gave up on searching and just prayed for the best. My family became quite concerned about my view of finding for Mr Right because I started to see it as next to impossibility. All my friends and even some cousins who were younger than me, startes settling down, but I on the other hand, was too distant about such plan. I poured in my time and heart at my work and disregarded about getting into any commitment again. After 5 years, I met someone through a close friend. I ignored him yet he never gave up. He is too perfect to be true which made me later realize, God has blessed me with. We are now married. He has the looks, but more than that, he has a God loving heart which I may say the perfect invisible abs which I have seen from my husband. I felt, I was so blessed despite of my challenging past and I will forever be grateful to him for choosing me out of the many women he may have encountered before he met me. ❤️

    1. Wow, I’m inspired with your story. I pray and believe that God will also give me a man who has that invisible abs but with a visible heart for Him(God) and only for me.

    2. Hello Ms. Raiza, i can’t help laughing while i am reading your post because I so identify with you. I am attracted to people who have good looks and are tall. Physical attractiveness is one of my top five emotional needs. I hope i may see things the way you two (Ms Maricar and you) did. I am still praying for my forever. God bless you.?

  3. I really love your blog. It’s so true to life. I particularly enjoyed the “emotional cheating?” article since it is highly relatable. I’ve been single for about a year now, and I think the reason we broke up was that we weren’t as honest as you and Richard are to each other. Everything’s so transparent, and both of you are willing to stay commited. I’m praying I’ll find a God given man one day as well, so I can be his helpmate and I his. I hope you can write about your faith as well one day. That’s another relationship matter, the one you have with God. God bless you and Richard.

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