Leave and Cleave 2: Why it makes you Stick Closer to Each Other

December 4, 2014
D3S1112

MARICAR:

The night before the wedding, my mom was a bit sad. She felt like she was “losing her daughter.” To feel better she would say to herself, “No, I’m gaining a son.”

However painful it was, her first thought was very true. I was “leaving” the family, just as she once “left” hers to cleave (“stick”) to my dad many years ago. In that moment I knew that the husband and wife relationship was truly the MORE PERMANENT one.

One day, my own son or daughter will LEAVE our home and CLEAVE to their spouse. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t want my child to have a spouse who did not cleave to him/her.

Living WITHOUT the parents really made me FEEL MARRIED. I wasn’t just sharing a home with someone. CLEAVING (“STICKING”) to Richard during trials MADE HIM MY BEST FRIEND.

A month into the marriage, we had a BAD argument. I wanted to leave; drive back to my parent’s house. But because of all the advice we had received, this was no longer an option. We had to STICK TOGETHER and solve it, even if the problem was EACH OTHER. I was now ONE FLESH with this guy. No more parental safety net. And with each argument resolved, we strangely found ourselves even closer than we were before.

One of the best things we did as man and wife was to create house rules together. We made our own home culture. We POSTED the rules on our wall. Each rule had a personal story behind why it was needed.

For example, the “no shouting, even if you are right” rule. Our parent’s homes discouraged shouting, yet it still happened. No rule was WRITTEN about it. When you were angry, you shouted, especially when you knew you were RIGHT. Now, to change our bad habits, we formed this rule. It’s posted on the wall for all to see. And when voices are raised, you simply remind the other person of the rule, and they MUST soften their tone. No questions asked.

(Read: Guardrails)

Leaving and cleaving gave us the opportunity to create an environment that was truly our own. It allowed us to make mistakes that were completely ours, too. Our engagement manual was right: “Therefore a man shall LEAVE his father and mother and shall be joined (CLEAVE) to his wife, and the TWO WILL BECOME ONE flesh.” I can’t think of a better way for two people to learn to BECOME ONE.

 

Maricar-sig-Copy

 

 

To read RICHARD’s story about “LEAVE & CLEAVE”, click HERE:

 

 

Posted by genesis, December 4, 2014

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6 thoughts on “Leave and Cleave 2: Why it makes you Stick Closer to Each Other

  1. This is what my husband and i are going through… we are married for 13 years now and still living with his parents and his sister… we tried to leave on our own but only for a few months we always end up going back with his parents house because he always tells me that his parents needs him because he’s the only man left here in the phil ( his older brother is now living in the states with his own family)… Whenever i open the issue of moving out… we end up fighting because he thought that i dont understand the situation and doesn’t care at all… he doesn’t understand that all i want is to live on our own and i want my children to live in a normal family set up…

  2. The pattern I’ve noticed is people who lack self-awareness to cheat. People who are unwilling or unable to truly look inward tend to have unexpressed and unaddressed dissatisfaction. Over time, for relief, they fall into seemingly more “romantic”, less complicated relationships. Often they even seem to justify their doing so by blaming their partner for not tending to their dissatisfaction. People without self-awareness seem markedly less capable of real intimacy, and therefore, more vulnerable than others to extramarital affairs.My husband cheats on me at any point and constantly accuse me of cheating, all thanks to the service of this tech genius hacker at ‘hackingloop6@ g m a i l .com, for their investigative and hacking service that helped me gain access to all my husband’s phone activities remotely,though the saga was so painful,but i feel much better facing my fears. Just send an email to this techie via ‘hackingloo6@gmail. com, if you ever suspect your spouse of cheating.

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