LOVE HAS CHANGED ?June 7, 2014
I used to think LOVE was that great emotional high that drove my heart to the heighest heights, energized me through hours of sweet telephone chat and left me sleepless in waiting to see her again…
I used to think expressing LOVE was a box of luxury chocolates, a big bouquet of expensive roses & blooms, a romantic candlelight dinner for two…
I used to think LOVE was this, until some OLDER married couples & REAL LIFE BLUNDERS added to it.
I found out LOVE is COSTLY. I heard a guy named Joey Bonifacio preach to us that married life isn’t bliss for physical intimacy. He fatherly blasted: “Porn is easy, you get fullfillment without doing anything, without cost. Porn keeps boys BOYS. But in real marriage, you don’t get intimacy if you don’t treat your wife right. Men, do you want LOVE & intimacy? You’ll have to work for it ?”
I found out I WASN’T good in LOVING OTHERS. My friend Erickson many times reminded me, “It’s easy to love people who are good to us. But to love and forgive our enemies without them saying sorry is a HIGH ROAD I want you to consider.”
I found out LOVE is a 2-EDGED BLADE.
One side is Motherly. The other side Fatherly.
The Motherly side is encouraging love. It nurtures, builds up, binds our wounds when we are down.
The Fatherly side is tough love. It deals and bravely confronts what so many fear to tell us. It RISKS to tell us truth TO THE POINT OF US REJECTING THEM.
With ONLY Motherly love, I become too soft, weak-willed, I leave wrongs wrong. I do NOT confront issues for fear someone might get hurt.
When ONLY the Father’s love, I become rigid, stern, and hard to live with. Confrontatively harsh, I speak the truth without kindness & respect.
I found out I DESPERATELY NEED BOTH ?
Finally, married mentors kept sharing to me: “Love is not just feeling. It’s a DECISION. There will be days when you’ll both LOSE the FEELING, but you stay commited to love her, you stay even in the bad times, you FIGHT to make her more important than your work, then you’ll experience an ENDURING LOVE-built on commitment and not fleeting feelings.” they’d tell me.
And so, through the years, Love has CHANGED. And so have we ?
“Oh Dear Love, won’t You change us for the better?”