When Someone Owes Me Money (And Doesn’t Pay Back)

March 18, 2018


My friend Annie (not her real name) owes me money.

One day I heard that she got a huge bonus at work. Part of me became very hopeful that she would begin to pay me back.

But instead of returning my money, she spent it on a new car, new household items, and also gave to charity.

I became very disappointed and irritated with Annie. This wasn’t the first time in eight years where she received a bonus but decided to spend it on other things rather than pay her debts.

She made me feel that my hard-earned money she borrowed was not a priority to pay back. Annie is my friend, but don’t think I trust her much anymore– especially with money.

Then remembered Richard’s story long before he became a singer:

He ran away from home after college and got into a lot of debt with close friends. His job paid little, but he didn’t want to ask his parents for money.

During this time, he was taught to pay his debts regularly, no matter how small, just to show that he was committed to pay back. Sometimes he’d pay as little as P100 in a month or P500 depending how much he was able to save.


It took 7 difficult years, but he SLOWLY became debt free.

Today, (even though he has become allergic to borrowing money, haha!) his friends would not hesitate to give him another loan because his regular, tiny payments built such a solid trust between them.


How one handles money can make or break relationships doesn’t it?

Money is such a wonderful tool for showing what is really important to us.





A struggling co-worker Jojo told me he had a P25,000 debt and could not pay it. He was on a MINDSET of “WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT I EARN BIG, THEN I’LL PAY IT”….I told him there’s another way but it was JUST THE OPPOSITE: Put aside a LITTLE amount for a LONG period of time.

RP: “Can you put aside P50 a week?”

Jojo: “Surely.”

Months passed, and by the time I calculated that Jojo already saved P2,500, I called him to tell him to pay his creditor the amount he had.

Jojo: “It’s gone.”

RP: “What do you mean it’s gone?”

Jojo: “Me and my wife saw a really nice TV set for the bargain price of 2,500. So we took it.”

Happy family with TV, goodbye to earnestly saved P2,500. Goodbye to paying P25,000 too.


These 2 stories are really about PRIORITIES.

Maricar’ story is about a person putting CHARITY above PERSONAL DEBTS. The generosity looks great externally, but the creditor ends up more resentful because THE COMMITMENT MADE TO HIM/HER TO BE PAID BACK is ruined by PRIORITIZING charity to another.

The 2nd story is about parents unknowingly teaching their kids to PRIORITIZE PERSONAL PLEASURES FIRST over responsibility TO PAY BACK what THEY TOOK FROM THE CREDITOR LONG AGO.

Also, that story shows a popular but very ineffective approach of paying debts: PAY DEBT ONLY WHEN you have a BIG FLOW OF CASH(like winning the lotto, etc.).

But in reality, just the OPPOSITE works. Setting aside a SMALL amount and disciplining yourself to pay that amount regularly for a LONG time IS THE WAY OUT OF DEBT. https://www.relationshipmatters.ph/2014/11/popoy-and-ping-ping/


How about you? What are your priorities in handling money and debt?

Are your priorities out of line? If so, what steps are you willing to take to pay back and make it right with your creditor?

Have your relationships been negatively affected by debts? How so?



Posted by relationshipmatters, March 18, 2018


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