SUICIDE (Deaths of Spade & Bourdain, and 3 curious questions)

June 10, 2018


2 weeks ago, I arranged a small dinner with a widow who lost her dear husband (50-years married)…

I was a little worried because I could hear her grief and tears over our previous phone conversations.

But during dinner she seemed to have recovered, and I wasted no time to ask her 3 curious questions.

1st question I asked her was if she had HURT or RESENTMENT about her husband’s death (Usually people blame 3…) ?

  1. they can blame the person who died (it was your fault),
  2. they can blame themselves (it was my fault),
  3. they can blame God (If you are good why did You allow this?)

From her(widow) answer, it was clear her heart was not bitter inspite of her tragic loss.

2nd question I asked was: “Now that your life-partner is gone, do you still have a PURPOSE in life?”?

She said yes. She said she is the only one who has grace to take care of her bipolar son who stays with her at home.(she says nobody could do that role but she)

I know of some businessmen who, if they lost their business, would try to end their life—sadly because their LIFE PURPOSE is their WORK. When they lose their work, they lose purpose, and see very little reason to continue living.????

Some make their romantic partner their life purpose. When they lose their lover, they lose purpose in their life and start entertaining deep depression and thoughts of suicide.?

I’m glad this widow STILL HAS PURPOSE inspite losing her lifetime partner.?

3rd and lastly, I asked her, “Is your life yours?”, “WHO OWNS YOUR LIFE? Is it you?”?

Some people that believe they are the supreme OWNERS of their life, will take a shot at taking their own life(suicide) when they’re at rock bottom.

I’m glad the widow answered, “My life is NOT mine, it is God’s.” 

Honestly, there have been times I(RP) thought of destroying my life when I was really down, but the bugging truth that God OWNS MY LIFE kept insisting itself inside my heart to STOP… Your life is NOT yours, it is His.”

This week had the lives of both successful world superstars Anthony Bourdain(celebrity chef) and Kate Spade(fashion designer) end in tragic suicide deaths by hanging.????

2 Tragic suicides: Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade

Being kind is helpful, but cracks in the foundations of the heart ultimately self-destruct in the long run inspite of many friends, money, fame, success, laughter, love, sex, even alcohol & drugs.

Never tire to ask reflective questions DIRECTED TO THE HEART. Let us build strong before the storm hits hard.?

Take heart:) 

***3 Curious Questions
1. Do you have a lot of hurt in your heart?
2. What is your life purpose? Is it about your work, or your lover? What if you lost them, would you still have purpose?
3. Is your life yours? Who owns your life? Is it you?



Posted by relationshipmatters, June 10, 2018


5 thoughts on “SUICIDE (Deaths of Spade & Bourdain, and 3 curious questions)

  1. Amazing… living a purpose driven life… purpose to please and obey God and trusting Him whole heartedly… great article … i lost my dad Aug last year and sometimes i kind of blame myself for not catching symptoms early (i work in a medical field) but there’s a stronger voice that tells me and reminds me that God is in control of everything,… i will definitely share this to my mom (married 46 yrs to my dad)… so thank you and God bless you both always.

  2. This is indeed timely Richard and Maricar to be aware of our emotional turmoil and most especially our purpose in life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about it. May God bless you more.

  3. I love this article. We actually do not know how other people (the people we meet everyday) think, thus we should be careful not to give them a mistaken approach wherein they will feel worst. We are all struggling with different problems in our lives. Struggling to make a living, struggling with relationships, struggling with the goals that we have, struggling with career and many more. We should always look for an eternal purpose. A purpose where it cannot be taken away from us, though this world may face. It is pursuing our relationship with the Lord. I believe the Lord is always giving us the opportunity to be the person He wants us to be. I believe in His promises and that is something we should look forward to. Thanks, Ms. Maricar.

  4. Answering your 3 questions Richard:
    1. Yes, I have a lot of hurt in my heart. I feel so alone and empty. I am on this point of life that I don’t have someone to talk to, I don’t trust anybody anymore because of so many betrayals I’ve been thru. My family doesn’t care my feelings and thoughts I prove it already so many times since I was a kid, they will just give me a sermon or judgement. I don’t have true friends, if I open up my emotions to them they’ll avoid me in the long run, they give up on listening to my thoughts and emotions. My husband is always busy on his work and sometimes he will just judge me or fall asleep while I am still talking. They all give up on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Am I that bad? That all the people give up on me easily.

    2. I don’t know what is really my purpose in life. I have nothing, My family doesn’t care, I don’t have true friends, My sister keep on stealing my money even she know’s I have less, My husband lies to me again & again, I don’t have career, every counts of job that I am applying are also the counts of my rejections. I once had a business but sinadyang sinira at pinabagsak of a former friend. I am so alone, I have nothing, I don’t know what is wrong with me, I am kind naman, I share my blessings to the needy. But why people (is ike) abandoned me?

    3. My life is just a borrowes one, God is the real owner.

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